Section 9

Chapter 9

The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.
- Earl of Chesterfield, attributed, mid 18th century

9

Unprotected.
What a stupid thing to do.

Up until that first night with Chloe, I had always known the “histories” of my partners, and if not, I had certainly always been protected. The first time I ever had unprotected sex was with Casandra. We had been together for more than a year and were deeply in love – she was a marriage sort of love, not just a game. We were shopping with my mother in a large department store. We were young, we were wild, and most of all, that night, we were ready. She and I were a well mixed drink. She was the mixer, I was the alcohol – together we were smooth, playful, and understanding of one another… the perfect blend. I always knew what she craved. She always knew when I craved it. We snuck away.
There was a lot of construction taking place in the store at the time, and I saw it as an opportunity. We slid sleekly into a taped off dressing room, and there, in one of the seven stalls, we lost control. It started out as kissing, and progressed into a tug of war – garments flying. There was no foreplay. As soon as I had removed her panties (my favorite pair) I was engulfed. I dove head first into her, my tongue probing, vigorously fumbling her clitoris. This wasn’t foreplay,
this was lubrication.
I rose, laying her backward on a small table in the corner… within moments, we were one.

Without the latex barrier separating us, it was divine… truly heavenly. There was friction, but not the kind that gets in the way – electricity. A thousand moist hands were grabbing at me, struggling to keep me in, fighting to pull me deeper. But not that night. It didn’t take me long, and it happened unexpectedly. Before we had began, I had said to her,
“Just for a minute, I’ll pull out before anything happens.”
A minute was all that was necessary.
I barely got out, my first release washing over disappointed lips.
I can see it clearly, an erotic Polaroid having been burnt into my mind.
Legs spread, shirt pulled up above her breasts, bra pushed clumsily aside, and my angel, covered in my release, from her light pubic hair, across her delicate opening.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“I... I don’t know, it just happened, I…”
“Marcus,” she interrupted, “you said you would pull out!”
“I know, but I didn’t even feel it happening. I’m sorry hun, I didn’t…”
“Did you get any inside of me?!”
“No!”I was frantic.
I quickly removed my shoes and took off my socks... I used one to wipe her off, and to wipe away the escapees.
I was scared, but mystified.
After we got dressed I kissed her and assured her of my love. I even mentioned marriage, which, believe it or not, I meant at the time. She smiled and we laughed. We couldn’t help it. That was the beautiful thing about us, we were two of a kind and free with one another.
“That felt amazing, didn’t it?”
“Oh my gosh (she never said God), it felt so good.”
“I seriously didn’t know it was gonna happen. I just…”
“It’ll be okay, Marcus. I love you.”

We never used a condom again.